Long time away

I lost a few months.
Writing nothing,
though there were things to write about.

even things I found
of interest
passed on by.

Perhaps I died.
Maybe just
a little.

Or perhaps it’s just
just this blog has always been
erratic, informal,
and this last break is just,
just waiting grown extreme.

Life is bigger,
bigger than you and you,
and you, who are not me,
who knows
the lengths that I will go to,
the dark behind my eyes,

oh no, I wrote too much,
and yet
I left this up.

Consider this: consider this
the hint of the century,
the slip that brings me to my knees,
trying to turn my life around,
but it just puts me in the ground.

But is this just a dream ???
life is just extreme.
This was just extreme,
this was just extreme,

that’s me in the corner,
that’s me in the spotlight,
object of derision,
trying to keep up with life,
but I don’t think I can do it,

oh no, I wrote too much.
and yet
I never wrote enough.

I thought that I heard you laughing,
I hope that I made you think,
I think, I thought, I saw you try,

but this is just extreme,
this is just extreme,
cry or try, cry,
I can only dream,
be is drowned in seem.

I become the dream,
I engage the dream….
I think I’ve done too much.

Or not enough.

With thanks to Losing My Religion